In its simplest form and to not beat around the bush, Ethical Non-Monogamy is an umbrella term and polyamory falls under said umbrella term. Even simpler, all polyamory is ethical non-monogamy but not all ethical non-monogamy is polyamory. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, what really is Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy?
Ethical Non-Monogamy, also known as Consensual Non-Monogamy, is “a relationship structure where all involved parties consent to have multiple romantic or sexual relationships, with honesty and open communications.” To debunk a common misconception, Ethical Non-monogamy is not cheating and it should never be confused with cheating because it is not. Unlike cheating or infidelity, which requires an element of no consent and boundary violations, ethical non-monogamy is fundamentally built upon respect for your partner(s) feelings, boundaries, and hard limits. With that clear distinction made (and let’s be honest, it makes total sense as to why ethical non-monogamy is completely different from infidelity) it is also important to establish that ethical non-monogamy is unfortunately not socially accepted. There are multiple factors that influence why it’s not socially accepted, ranging all the way from cultural expectations to religion and personal beliefs. Hopefully this will serve as one of many education tools out there to mitigate miseducation and misconceptions.
Types of Ethical Non-Monogamy:
- Swingers: People in committed romantic relationships who are open to having recreational and casual sex outside their relationship.
- Monogamish: Primarily monogamous individuals who occasionally dabble in casual sex outside their relationship if they deem it appropriate. Make emotional connections rather than just focusing on the sexual nature of the connections (like with swingers)
- Open Relationships: People in committed romantic relationships, who give their romantic partner’s “hall passes” to sexually date other people.
Polyamory is a relationship structure within ethical non-monogamy which involves having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Again, this relationship dynamic is fundamentally built on consent, respect for your partner(s) boundaries and feelings. Although the general definition of polyamory is relatively simple, there are different types of polyamory.
Types of Polyamory:
- Solo Polyamory: A person views themselves as the “primary” as well as single, and they continuously seek out relationships to be integrated into.
- Hierarchical Polyamory: In this relationship structure, there is a “primary” relationship who’s connection is prioritized over other “secondary” romantic relationships. A and B take priority over A and C and B and D.
- Non-hierarchical Polyamory: Unlike the previously defined relationship structure, in non-hierarchical polyamory every individual is prioritized equally.
- Polyfidelity: This is a specific relationship structure, where 3 or more people establish that they will only be romantically and sexually involved with each other. There is no seeking of new partners outside.
Exploring ethical non-monogamy or polyamory? You don’t have to navigate it alone. At iAmClinic, our experienced therapists specialize in non-traditional relationships. We’re here to provide guidance, support, and tools to help you on your journey.
Ready to take the next step? Contact iAmClinic today for a consultation.
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